♡ welcome
Hi hi! ^^ my name is
Ren! I started making websites and learning to design around
2005. This is my small little blog where I occasionally dump my thoughts into the void. In my free time I also like to design layouts plus other graphics, so I'll also upload them here for you guys when I can! :) Anywho, welcome to
Blissth~ if you're wondering what the word is from, it's the name of a song by the band
Sorority Noise! I actually don't listen to them much, but that song I like, and the name of it stuck out to me.
♡ link me
♡ Updates/blog
9.16.25 - Welp, I was put on new medications to try and help with my anxiety. First is was
Buspar which I reacted to horribly. I got super bad acid reflux and threw up multiples times a week, for 5 weeks. I tried adjusting the time lengths between each dose, taking a lower dose, and taking it with or without food - same result every time. They say it takes 4-6 weeks for your body to get used to new medications, but I tapped out after week 5, I couldn't take it anymore. A week ago I was put on a new med called
Lexapro which I had no side effects so far. I take it before bed as it makes me drowsy, but so far it's been good...no side effects, but I read it decreases your libido? I have not tested that yet xD. I'm still
unemployed and looking for remote jobs. Maybe i'll start applying for in-office jobs once I'm sure the medication is working. I've been binge watching shows to keep busy, I've watched
Alice In Borderlands,
Solo Leveling, and
Chainsaw Man! My bf and I currently started watching a tv series called
From...seems good so far. I've been in extreme pain and have had horrible periods the last year, I've seen two doctors who said it was a Fibroid. They were wrong, it's actually a severe case of adenomyosis which is growing a mass in my uterus, plus PCOS. I have a procedure to embolize it in 2 days so I'm super nervous about that. The PCOS explains the massive weight gain in the last year, and no matter
HOW MUCH I work out I lose nothing. It's been a pretty stressful year, probably the worst mentally and physically tbh. I really hope it get's better from here...I've been so unhappy. Anywho, if anyone has any suggestions or ideas for layouts they want made, let me know in t he cbox!~
6.25.25 - Well, where to start? After procrastinating for about 2 years now, I finally opened this site xD! Ok, so my excuse is quite long. I lived in PA my whole life, then in the last year I abruptly moved to Delaware, I did not like it. I met my boyfriend on Hinge, and then months later moved into his house in Maryland where I currently reside. So in retrospect I lived in a very populated/busy part of PA, and then in the last year moved to a very rural...slow part of DE/MD. It's been the most depressing transition in my entire life ngl. Long ago, like a decade, I attended college right after highschool and then later dropped out because I kept failing the math classes. I figured I'd just get a job full-time and work my way up, or I'd hopefully find my purpose eventually. Well, flash forward to now, I never anticipated the variable of moving to a rural area that has NO jobs. So I'm basically forced to take whatever I can get. I feel like I deeply screwed myself by thinking I'd be able to just stay in PA where there were jobs out the wazoo. Nope, so here I am, 30...about to try and get my bachelors degree! My mental health is awful so I can only be a FT student, PT worker, but I can
NOT be full time both! I get overstimulated and
will fail again. Idek if I can do this to begin with. My psychee and mental capacity is very fragile ;__; I'm deeply afraid of the future. I feel like I've wasted my entire 20s, and my crippling depression convinces me I can't make it better.